Post-Placement: Healing & Growing

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After placement, you enter a new world filled with emotions, issues, grief, and fear. Riding on the hopes that your decision was the best one to make is also the pain of your loss. This is a very important time for you. We encourage you to continue your counseling, to attend a support group, and to honor and respect the new challenge by empowering yourself with the tools you will need to survive. Even when you feel the most vulnerable and alone, it's essential that you understand that you're not alone. There have been many people, people just like you, who have experienced what you're feeling. And they can help you. You just have to open up to them and allow yourself to feel and the to heal. It isn't easy, but it will help you in the long run.

In the Birthmother and Birthfather sections of this site, you will find reading resources, support, and information to help you as you move forward. There are so many resources available to you in the modern adoption community. Reach out and allow others to reach out to you. However, if you ever feel uncomfortable with your support group or your counselor, it's OK to move onto someone else. You need to do what's best for you, what will help you down the path to healing and emotional recovery. You should feel completely comfortable and safe in your support group and in your counselor's office. If not, it may not be the right fit for you and your specific needs.

We also recommend that you join our Forum on "Healing, Recovery, and Success." These forums are filled with those who want to help you and who need help in return. This can be a great place for you, no matter which stage you're currently at with the healing process. Sometimes the best way to heal yourself is to help others by lifting them emotionally. You may find that you forget some of your own pain when you help others with theirs. If you're not quite ready to join and actively participate in the forums, you can sign up and just be a spectator at first. Read posts and comments by others and wait until you are ready. Once you're ready, you can jump right in.

Post-placement healing isn't going to happen overnight. It takes time to do it right and heal properly. You can't rush though it. If you do, that pain will resurface, and sometimes it will resurface with greater force than it did previously. So, take your time and even though it's hard, try to enjoy the journey. Journal your experience so you can look back later and see your amazing progress. You may not know how far you've come until you see where you began.

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Note: Our authors are dedicated to honest, engaged, informed, intelligent, and open conversation about adoption. The opinions expressed here may not reflect the views of Adoption.com.

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