Birthfathers After Adoption

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The word "birthfather" is often used to describe men both before and after their child has been adopted. If you are searching for support, legal rights, and other information about or for men before the adoption, please see the Expectant Father section of Choosing to place your child with an adoptive family can be a difficult decision to make. Even if you feel it's the right decision, it doesn't make it any easier to actually go through with it and deal with it post-placement. But know that you're not alone. There are many other birthfathers out there who can relate to what you're feeling right now. And it may help you to discuss this with them. You can choose to go to a support group or even join an online forum. Do whatever makes you feel the most comfortable. Once you've taken a few little steps toward healing, it's time to take a few big ones.

To start, the information below is for, by, and about men whose children have been placed for adoption. You may find some stories that closely resemble your own story. You may also find inspiration and motivation. You may even find a few close friends. Open yourself up to your situation and the healing process. When you can do that, you open yourself up to greater, happier life opportunities. You may be feeling low now, but one day you'll look back at how far you've come. Then you'll realize how the hard times have made you a stronger, better, more loving man. You'll see how the sad times have refined you, improved you. Then maybe you'll feel thankful for your experiences. Until then, take it one step at a time and find solace in the company of others.

Birthfather Discussion List
Scroll down the page to find the list. Registered members only.

Birthfathers and Miracles
Birthfathers are sometimes vilified and given labels like "dead-beat dads," but in many situations, that's far from the truth.

Birthfathers: The Forgotten Half of the Story
From placing to reunion, birthfathers can often be relegated to non-entities, and they often are left to deal with feelings of guilt, shame, and anger on their own, without support; by Eliza Newlin Carney.

Dear Andy
Compiling a scrapbook for the son he's never known, a father confronts his grief.

Ellen's Story
Written by her birthfather and adoptive father.

I am Blessed
At 19, he walked away, and decades later, David M. searched, found his daughter, and recognizes the blessings in his life.

I Reflect as I Wait
A wonderful poem by birthfather, J. T. Niswonger.

Jason's Story
Jason, his adoptive dad and his birth dad write.

My Birth Father's Legitimate Grief
An adoptee writes.

Stepping Out of the Shadows: Birthfathers Speak Out
The most silent segment of the adoption community steps out of the shadows, by Mary Martin Mason.

The Impact of Adoption on Birth Parents
It isn't only birthmothers who experience great emotional upheavals over the years following the placement of their children. Birthfathers have emotions, too.

Winter Hearts
A man and his family welcome the chance of reunion with the daughter he was told he fathered.
Visitor Comments (1)
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ace - 1 year ago
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i am looking for my son the only boy born in the hospita used for whiteshield b portland oregon the week of september 10 1969 #1
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